OF COURSE THIS PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR REPORTING COMES OUT OF ASIA! MONA IS CHINESE! READ ON!
The elusive identity of the Mona Lisa, one of art history’s most enduring and well-loved mysteries, might have just been solved. Well, sort of. According to art historian Angelo Paratico, the woman portrayed in Leonardo da Vinci’s masterpiece might be, simultaneously, a Chinese slave and the painter’s mother.
However, Paratico is not yet exactly positive about the details of his potentially groundbreaking theory. “I’m sure to a point that Leonardo’s mother was from the Orient, but to make her an oriental Chinese, we need to use deductive method,” he told SCMP.
THE DEDUCTIVE METHOD? OKAY EVERYTHING IS VIRTUAL REALITY, LET’S MAKE UP THIS APPROACH! KINDA SORTA SOUNDS LIKE WAHT MOST ART HISTORIANS DO
The Hong-Kong-based historian is giving the final touches to a book entitled Leonardo da Vinci: A Chinese Scholar Lost in Renaissance Italy. “One wealthy client of Leonardo’s father had a slave called Caterina,” Paratico told SCMP. “After 1452, Leonardo’s date of birth, she disappeared from the documents. She was no longer working there.”
OH OF COURSE IT INVOLVES CATARINA-THERE ARE SO MANY CATARINA’S LINKED WITH DA VINCI, HOW COULD IT NOT BE A CATARINA? ANYONE EVER STUDY ANY REAL HISTORY? OR HERSTORY?
Apparently, Caterina (da Vinci’s mother, too, is widely thought to have been named Caterina) was taken to the town of Vinci, outside Florence, to give birth. Paratico’s angle is that she had to be removed from the household due to her improper relationship with her master.
Does the theory sound like a bit of a long shot? Perhaps. But Paratico argues that, already a hundred years ago, the venerable Sigmund Freud claimed that the iconic painting was inspired by da Vinci’s mother, in his 1910 essay, “A Childhood Reminiscence of Leonardo da Vinci.”
OH LET’S THROW IN FREUD AS A SUITABLE RESEARCH
Paratico substantiates his thesis further by insisting some aspects of da Vinci’s life suggest an oriental connection. For example, he was left-handed as well as a vegetarian, both of which were uncommon at the time. The art historian also says that Italy was full of oriental slaves during the Renaissance.
UH, DUH, MOST OF THE ITALIAN RENAISSANCE MASTER’S WERE LEFT HANDED AND WHERE’S THE PROOF LEO WAS A VEGETARIAN? BECAUSE HE MIGHT HAVE LIKED FIGS?
He believes that the painting’s background depicts a Chinese landscape, and that the Mona Lisa’s face looks Chinese.
Does it all still sound a little tenuous? Francisco Vizeu Pinheiro, an architect and assistant professor at the University of St Joseph, thinks so, that Paratico is “jumping quickly to conclusions since there’s no concrete evidence.”
OH BUT NOW THE CHINESE ARE RUNNING WITH THIS STORY! WHY NOT? THEY BUY THINGS AT AUCTION AND DON’T PAY FOR THEM/
Meanwhile, users of the Chinese social media platform Sina Weibo have launched a Chinese-Mona Lisa meme parade, replacing her features with hilarious alternatives, for example the face of the Chinese comedian Zhao Benshan.
“I now understand why her smile looks so mysterious and concealed,” joked a Sina Weibo user. “It’s typically Chinese.”
SURE IT DEFINITELY LOOKS LIKE A CHINESE SMILE, ALONG WITH EVERYONE ELSE’S SMILE. WELL, WE JUST HAD THE CRAZY CHINESE GUY WHO BOUGHT THE PAINTING DONE BY A MADMAN AND PURCHASED BY A MADMAN, AND THEN A CRAZY CHINES. SO WHY NOT THIS?
ENJOY THIS INSANITY